The Hearing World

I neglected this blog and for that I apologize. Sincerely.

I could give you excuses, I have them and they are legitimate: work, class, and a needed vacation all took time away from my writing. I will attempt to be more diligent.

I write because my ASL class is over for the summer. I won't start classes again until August 20th. I really enjoyed the class even though I found it challenging throughout. I went to a few events within the community that were very helpful and also allowed me to practice my sign. I need to continue doing this during my break.

This is, essentially, the type of hearing aid I got. Except mine is "terra cotta" colored to blend with my hair. Pretty sweet. I'm one step closer to being a cyborg. Score. 

Today is a big day for me. I got my new hearing aids. They're slim and tiny and chic. I'd like to say you can't really notice them too much, they blend in quite nicely with my hair--so that's cool. I had a whole session with my Audiologist about how they work and what not to do with them (don't wear them in the shower! don't put on hairspray while wearing them! no hairdryers on the hearing aids!)...yes, there was a theme for me.  This is the first time I've worn hearing aids in over 10 years and the adjustment is huge. My audiologist had the option of increasing the sound slowly over a few weeks but, she said, being that I am young she has set it at the max level that I need it to be. This being said...I am overwhelmed. I am supposed to wear the hearing aids for 10+ hours a day while in this "adjustment" period. My brain has to start comprehending what it's like to factor out other noises, voices, sounds, and even my own voice to some degree.

 Manatees, looking how I feel:  overwhelmed, but adorable.

Today, I have, since getting the hearing aids watched a movie by myself and talked on the phone a little. I disliked both actions. Not like me at all. I just do not like how loud everything is. To amplify the sounds that I am missing other sounds are getting amplified as well alongside them. I do not want to sound ungrateful, I'm not ungrateful. I'm very happy to have these, to get the opportunity to wear them again. I know I need them. I know how much I struggled and I know eventually they will make situations much easier but right now the sound of my typing is loud. The sound of my own voice sounds completely foreign and strange. I don't know how loudly to speak anymore because I seem so loud to myself, so I do not want to talk at all. I am disturbed by realizing there are sounds I can't identify now that I can hear them. Apparently our computer chair squeaks impossibly loud. Apparently my car keys jangle the entire time I drive. The keys of my qwerty pad on my cell phone click like a tiny horse is prancing upon them. My flip flops slap down on the ground and I am determined to wear only moccasins now. I will adopt soundless clothing. I definitely do not need zippers anymore. Outside it's like I'm being bombarded by the frequencies of sound, they come upon my like waves and I do not know what they all are but there's too many. It's too loud. How do you deal with it being this loud all the time? Painful. Painful.  I know I'll adjust. I know I will but if, for the next few weeks or month I am quiet (a rarity) understand this is why.

xo,

Glynnis