Dreamy Times

Flying by, this week.  The car search has started in earnest which is absolutely nerve-wracking and doesn't have that wave of excitement associated with a car montage in the movies because I won't be getting one through a sugar daddy or a crazy sweet sixteen party. No, instead I shall purchase whatever car myself. I am a grown up. I am a grown up. If I repeat this mantra enough times, eventually it becomes true--yes? Fingers still crossed on the sudden lotto win.

Sometimes I envy Annie for her ability to overcome her "hard-knock life"--she could have a new car , for sure, from her "Daddy" Warbucks. I do not envy her hair. Girl, get that coif fixed. You've got money now. 

Have found myself exhausted with the attempt to balance all: social, work, school. Difficult. I'm not sure how people do this exactly. By living with a planner? I have gotten so very obsessed with mine that it is almost pathetic. Yet it keeps me on track, on goal, and this is what I need. I am not so busy to the point that I feel I've lost myself, I swim alone and this activity keeps me level in a lot of ways.  It's easy to tune everything out when you swim. Focused solely on the burning of my lungs, legs, and propelling myself forward...it is lovely, until some kid decides to dive into your lap lane. The rhythm, the solitude, the daydreaming while keeping track of lap number and knowing I'm still being productive. What a pleasure to multitask in such a way.

Have we become a society of multitaskers? When do we give our undivided attention to anything? How often are we not thinking of at least 3 other tasks we must achieve at the moment we're working on the current project? Right now, as I sit here in front of my laptop typing this--which, I will admit, is a pleasurable task and one I do for myself, I am also listening to music (Camera Obscura- Keep It Clean), eating watermelon, and taking a break from homework for my Sign Language Interpreting class, the class DVD paused on a Mini-dialogue and surrounded by my books. What a ridiculous run-on sentence the last was. One which I do not feel like altering.

ASL continues to be challenging and I must study, study, study. I need to interact in the community and find an event to go to, partly for class credit and partly to practice. The idea of going out into the Deaf community when I am a beginner is--honestly--terrifying, exciting. Especially since I've learned that I accidentally signed "make-out" for "coffee" the other day. Ha ha. I said, "My favorite drink is make-out."  Ooops! It's all about the turning the wrists clockwise instead of counter-clockwise...or...was it the other way round? Oh, God. I'm going to accidentally sign "make-out" again when I mean to sign "coffee." We have learned so much in class and it can be a bit much to remember everything. I was excited during Wednesday's class though to get to ask our professor how to sign some things and so we learned some weird signs such as...hot dog. Of course I asked that one! It's my favorite, after all. I will now be constantly signing, "Hot dot my favorite my." YUM! Also, the sign for hot dog cracked me up because I just keep picturing old timey sausage links.Hot Dog!

Last week I watched Children of a Lesser God for class--which I thought was great and also enjoyed seeing how taking SLIP class is paying off as a lot of the signs are becoming familiar, even without explanation. I will be writing an opinion piece on the movie (for class) but if you want an interesting movie, one which shows a depiction of a School for the Deaf in the 80's you should watch this. Also, Marlee Matlin won an Academy Award for her performance and she is stunning.  I've found myself thinking of the movie a lot this week and without spoiling anything for you--if you do happen to watch the movie--the speech therapy scenes were a bit unbelievable. Therapy, of any kind, is something which must be attended to daily with a regiment and while I know this is a movie it was hard for me to believe these Deaf students would be a) as easily accepting and willing to learn to speak as they were in the movie and b) as quickly capable of learning as displayed I still found myself scoffing. Obviously, a movie is not going to show the struggle it takes to learn how to say an "s" when you can't hear one or the absolute challenge of learning the letter "r", which is the most difficult according to speech pathologists--those are hard sounds and take months (often years!) of practice but whatever, just little nitpicking moments. I may have experienced slight nostalgia for my own speech therapy and Mrs. Bay, my speech therapist of 8 years, with her terrible Tab and/or coffee breath; close talking as she taught me to "see the difference between a 'b and a d." Memories are fun.

Tomorrow I'm off work and I plan to continue reading and working on homework. I will probably spend a crazy amount of time practicing sign language in the mirror (at least an hour) because I have to work on my facial grammar and this involves making sure my eyebrows are going up and down at the right parts of phrases--and even though this makes me feel silly, I'll do it. I feel very Evil Queen from Snow White when I practice in the mirror, as if I'm just adoring myself and I would be fibbing if I didn't admit to fixing my hair while I worked on ASL...

Oh snap. There is some serious facial grammar happening here. She is about to make a statement. It's probably "I'm the fairest of them all." or "This crown is awesome." maybe even "The mirror face doesn't scare me."

xo
Glynnis

Siren's Wail

As promised, I return and with a tale to weave.

Today I received my very first moving violation ticket--ever. What a terrifying experience. I turned right on red when signs marked my passage"No Turn Right on Red." I didn't see. I didn't know. I was driving somewhere new. I was frightened, alone in my car, lost, scared...alas, by the time I did see the sign it was one second too late. The car was in motion. The wheel had been turned. I was traveling on the path towards a ticket. It had to happen to me sometime, as it must happen to us all. Traffic tickets wait for no one. Eventually they catch us. Honest mistake though. I pride myself  I did not cry until I drove away from the police officer, nor did my hands shake too badly as I handed him my license. I could not hear his siren, although I assume the policeman at least beeped it at me, luckily (unluckily?) the flashing blue-white lights were utilized. Visual cues; joy!

After receiving my ticket and enjoying a delicious lunch at Farm Burger--because I earned it, I was having a rough day-- I went to class. I am finding that ASL is very challenging, maybe more challenging than I thought it would be. I'm not certain if this is because it's a spatial visual language and that's not my strongest forte, or the brevity of the class. Luckily, my professor is an absolute delight and teaches in a manner that is truly engaging and encouraging. She is deaf, as are many of the professors and lab technicians, at GPC. Our classes are taught in sign,--or as close to it as possible--to allow as much of a full immersion process as possible. This is akin to traveling in another country; you pick up the language faster if you are living there and have to.

So far I find myself struggling with flipping signs often. I'm not certain why I do this. I understand the signs when my professor does them, I see how I should do them in my mind and then when I go to do them my hands want to do them opposite. It's frustrating but I know with more practice I will be alright.

Today I find myself thinking about the past and how we can get stuck in a rut and it's difficult to overcome that point. It's hard to see yourself out of a job you don't like, a financially scary situation, or maybe a relationship that felt a little too cozy; but sometimes it is so worth taking that next big step. Even if that next big step leads to months of confusion and uncertainty. As long as you've got forward momentum, you've got something good going. Not to sound all preachy. I hate that type of stuff. Mainly, it's just that today, I saw a difference in myself.  Past me would've gotten a ticket, had a few other bad things happen and said "You know what--that's a legit reason to skip class. You don't have to go." but Current me says, "No. You're going, even though you're kind of sad about the ticket and state of affairs, at least you had a really good burger. Go to class. You'll thank yourself later."

Do something now that you'll thank yourself for later. Seriously, guys. It sounds so stupid but...it makes all the difference in the world.

xo
Glynnis

Meet and Greet

Well hello there. Fancy meeting you here.

Since I'm writing this blog for the purpose of discussing my goal of becoming a Sign Language Interpreter and achieving a BA in ASL; which has gotten more questions than I realized I would field...please allow me to explain some things about myself.

I am 25 years old and was born with High Frequency Hearing Loss. This means I cannot hear most unvoiced constantants (p, s, v, d, b, f). I struggle with whispers, I can hear them but often cannot make out what is being said. Over the years, I have gotten really good at always facing a person when I'm speaking with them and making a lot of eye contact (hey, I'm looking at your lips too!)  and just smiling and nodding. Sometimes this has gotten me in trouble. More on that later.

I took eight years of speech therapy as a child to "fix" the way I spoke because I learned without the sounds I couldn't hear. Speech therapy, once a week to a young child felt like torture, but I am eternally grateful to my therapist Mrs.Bay and my parents. They are the reasons I don't sound disabled or Southern--I have a fairly neutral accent. When taking speech, in my case, you are taught to over pronounce and over-enunciate each word with the knowledge eventually the over-corrections will fade.

Partnered with speech, I got my first set of hearing aids when I was 4 years old. Apparently, after getting fitted with hearing aids and walking outside of the building for the first time wearing this highly amplified world on my ears, I had one question. "What's that 'whoosh whoosh' sound?," I asked my Mom and she replied, "The wind," and then I assume she cried at how precious I was, as this story is repeated to me and others frequently. So yes, I could not hear the wind or a lot of the times birds and hundreds of other things but for years I comfortably wore my hearing aids and COULD hear everything and it was awesome.

Alas, everything changes.

I switched schools, got older, and suddenly it was really hard to explain hearing aids to people. Kids are mean. Teenagers are crueller. Sometimes the quippy jokes they made when I finally got up the courage to wear my hearing aids again hurt my feelings so much that I put them away. I wasn't this big fount of courage and eventually, I decided, I can't handle that. I can't answer the questions. So, at my own expense, I put the hearing aids up. I coped the best I could. I made it a "non-part" of me. When it did come up, I educated people,  but even my closest friends didn't know the level of my hearing loss. Here is, partly, why I share this information: yesterday I got fitted with my first new pair of hearing aids in almost 10 years and the change in technology is stunning. Soon, I'll have hearing aids that are bluetooth capable! I might upgrade my phone to match. Plus, the sound quality was phenomenal...and it made me realize, what have I been doing? Why did I wait this long? Never let other people stand in the way of your own health and happiness.

All of this being said, there is a stigma with hearing loss that shouldn't exist. People make jokes and are ignorant and it is our job to gently teach. Please don't refer to hearing aids as "old people technology"--the age of patients getting hearing aids is younger and younger, often starting in the mid-40's. Keep that in mind, dear reader, while rocking out to your iPod full blast.

So, why ASL? I relate on a personal level. I think it's a beautiful and challenging language. The level of expression in it is gorgeous. I want to know that should my hearing ever get worse, I've done what I can to educate myself.

That's about it for now.

xo

Glynnis