In my last post I wrote about getting new hearing aids--which has been both a blessing and a curse, I have now decided. I love them and have adjusted to the level of noise that accompanies them. I have had to visit the audiologist roughly 3 or 4 times to have them adjusted. They pop out of my ears easily because apparently I have "an expressive face with ears that wiggle too much"--this was the description my audiologist gave me that made me laugh. I should explain, when I say they pop out, I mean they're not quite all the way in or out of my ear. It's awkward for me and makes the hearing aids more visible, which I am still self-conscious about. The fact is I am in-between sizes as far as the "sound wire" goes-- I need a 1 1/2 and I am stuck with a 2. This is something I have to work with. Technology is not perfect, but it's better than nothing.
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| This is how loud this get in bars with my hearing aids. PRETTY LOUD. |
Also, due to the fact that these are lower technology hearing aids the sound quality (in certain scenarios) is not great. It can sound very electronic. I don't mind this as I enjoy pretending I am a cyborg. This is just the way I have to hear things to hear them more clearly. Okay, fine. I'm not as much a fan of huge bar scenes and the way I hear at them though--I will say that.
For the negatives which have come with the hearing aids I feel there are so many positives. I notice so many more things than I noticed before. I can hear every sweet nothing anyone says to me--I think. It's easier to understand someone who is talking behind me. Before I always liked to turn and look at them and now it's not necessary, although I still do that partly out of habit and partly because I feel it's a kinder way of approaching people--and okay, I'm still lipreading too, but that's okay too. I think I have had the opportunity, though wearing the hearing aids, to bring awareness to people I wouldn't have before and I now have the courage to do that (most days).
I have had some negative comments. I have experienced some really difficult and ignorant statements from people who do not know or understand being Hard of Hearing. I have been called "Disabled" now and that is a term I never, ever, ever labeled myself. These are things I dealt with in a responsible manner, I believe. I may write about them here, I may not. Honestly, they sometimes hit a little too close to home. My feelings were hurt and insecurities from childhood arose and I am coping as best I can--and I think I'm doing a fairly okay job.
ASL classes are going really well-- I'm so glad I'm learning this beautiful language.
